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 Notice anything?

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Amanda
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Registration date : 2006-08-22

PostSubject: Notice anything?   Tue Sep 26, 2006 9:26 am

* Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
* Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
* And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
* It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
* Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat)
* Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
* Be more or less specific.
* Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
* Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
* No sentence fragments.
* Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.
* Foreign words and phrases are not apropos
* Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
* One should NEVER generalize.
* Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
* Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
* One-word sentences? Eliminate.
* Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
* The passive voice is to be ignored.
* Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
* Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
* Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
* Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.
* Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
* If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
* Puns are for children, not groan readers.
* Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
* Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
* Who needs rhetorical questions?
* Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

And finally...
* Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

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Ginnifer
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PostSubject: Re: Notice anything?   Sun Oct 01, 2006 5:50 pm

This is funny for english majors and people who are overly smart like Jared and I, but probably not to everyone else that doesn't even know what half that stuff is.... (Jared just admitted he didn't get it) But *I* Thought it was funny.
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Amanda
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PostSubject: Re: Notice anything?   Sun Oct 01, 2006 6:10 pm

As did I......but then again, I find myself noticing things like this all the time. Guess that's what I get for writing/reading so many papers.

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Ginnifer
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PostSubject: Re: Notice anything?   Mon Oct 02, 2006 4:51 pm

Amanda wrote:
Guess that's what I get for writing/reading so many papers.

And posts. Smile
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Lynelle
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PostSubject: Re: Notice anything?   Mon Oct 02, 2006 10:32 pm

I don't consider myself overly smart, but I did understand them and thought some of them to be funny. Must be the 15 years worth of English that I have read. Even though I did fail that MSM test....
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Ginnifer
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PostSubject: Re: Notice anything?   Tue Oct 03, 2006 11:45 am

The mechanics of english are often hard to get, that's all I'm saying. I myself can't tell you why a sentence is wrong, but I can generally identify that it is. That's what most people do.
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Jig
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PostSubject: Re: Notice anything?   Thu Oct 05, 2006 8:53 pm

Ginnifer wrote:
The mechanics of english are often hard to get, that's all I'm saying. I myself can't tell you why a sentence is wrong, but I can generally identify that it is. That's what most people do.

Yeah, I agree with Ginny. I can tell she's wrong *all* the time, but sometimes I can't figure out why.
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