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 Religious Joke (U have been Warned)

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Brian
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PostSubject: Religious Joke (U have been Warned)   Thu Jun 07, 2007 7:49 am

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could
hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, " When I am worried about getting nervous
On the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass.
If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."
So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice.
At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a
drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the
following note on the door:

1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.

2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.

3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.

4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.

7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as
Daddy, Junior and the spook.

8 ) David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him.

9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his
donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.

10)We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."

11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said,
"take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say " Eat me" .

12)The Virgin Mary is not called " Mary with the Cherry,.

13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub
thanks for the grub, Yeah God.

14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at
ST.Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

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I know a lot of people without brains who do an awful lot of talking. - The Wizard of Oz
Banghead Banghead Banghead . why do I try???????? - Lynelle
Brian the Grand master! - Gavin
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Jig
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PostSubject: Re: Religious Joke (U have been Warned)   Wed Jun 13, 2007 1:30 pm

Sorry, I'm just not feeling it.
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Ginnifer
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PostSubject: Re: Religious Joke (U have been Warned)   Thu Jun 14, 2007 12:21 am

I heard this joke for the first time when I was like ... 10. Smile

But thanks for trying. It's funnier than Jared says it is.
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Brian
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PostSubject: Re: Religious Joke (U have been Warned)   Thu Jun 14, 2007 7:27 am

I agree... I really thought #6, 8 & 9 were the best though.

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I know a lot of people without brains who do an awful lot of talking. - The Wizard of Oz
Banghead Banghead Banghead . why do I try???????? - Lynelle
Brian the Grand master! - Gavin
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Jig
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PostSubject: Re: Religious Joke (U have been Warned)   Thu Jun 14, 2007 8:53 pm

Alright, I'll give you that.
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