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 Gripe Sheet

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Amanda
Queen
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Female Number of posts : 1906
Age : 40
Registration date : 2006-08-22

PostSubject: Gripe Sheet   Mon Apr 23, 2007 7:40 am

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school
diploma to fix one. After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a
"gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The
mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then
the pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be
said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual
maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the
solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way,
UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last...

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding
on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

_________________
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges
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Jesse
Killing Time... Wish I got paid for this!
Killing Time... Wish I got paid for this!
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Female Number of posts : 1571
Age : 38
Registration date : 2006-08-22

PostSubject: Re: Gripe Sheet   Mon Apr 23, 2007 8:49 am

That last one was the best! Those were really funny! Thanks!
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Jig
Britan's Loyal Subject
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Number of posts : 342
Age : 39
Registration date : 2006-08-23

PostSubject: Re: Gripe Sheet   Sun Apr 29, 2007 10:30 pm

Emmie was inside the insturment panel?
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Lynelle
Killing Time... Wish I got paid for this!
Killing Time... Wish I got paid for this!


Female Number of posts : 1264
Age : 61
Registration date : 2006-08-22

PostSubject: Re: Gripe Sheet   Mon Apr 30, 2007 7:59 am

Jig wrote:
Emmie was inside the insturment panel?

Career options Jig! She can fix instrument panels on Jets!
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Amanda
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Female Number of posts : 1906
Age : 40
Registration date : 2006-08-22

PostSubject: Re: Gripe Sheet   Mon Apr 30, 2007 8:09 am

Lynelle wrote:
Jig wrote:
Emmie was inside the insturment panel?

Career options Jig! She can fix instrument panels on Jets!


LOL! See you have two of the girls' careers worked out so far.....

Cadie can be a professional flower girl and Emmy can be a plane tech....what's Linden going to be?

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Jig
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Number of posts : 342
Age : 39
Registration date : 2006-08-23

PostSubject: Re: Gripe Sheet   Mon Apr 30, 2007 1:39 pm

She is definitely gonna be a cat whisperer. Probably horses and other assorted animals too but with a specialization in cats.
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Lynelle
Killing Time... Wish I got paid for this!
Killing Time... Wish I got paid for this!


Female Number of posts : 1264
Age : 61
Registration date : 2006-08-22

PostSubject: Re: Gripe Sheet   Mon Apr 30, 2007 4:05 pm

This gives me an idea for another thread.........
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