HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM IN THE SOUTH
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16
work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo
magazine and your NRA magazines.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
"Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went for more ammunition. Back
in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked the mailman
this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part
in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood.
Anyways, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside."
Home 
