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 Those that have any humorous stories..

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Relyt
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PostSubject: Those that have any humorous stories..   Mon Jan 22, 2007 9:31 pm

Disclaimer: THIS IS NOT A SECTION FOR STORIES JUST ABOUT JIG OR THE MAYERS...


Last edited by on Mon Jan 22, 2007 9:33 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Relyt
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PostSubject: Re: Those that have any humorous stories..   Mon Jan 22, 2007 9:32 pm

Winter Problem

One winter morning a husband and wife in northern Colorado were
listening to the radio during breakfast.They heard the announcer say,
"We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your
car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get
through."

So the good wife went out and moved her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer
said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park
your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can
get through."
The good wife went out and moved her car again.

The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer
says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park..."
Then the electric power went out. The good wife was very upset, and with
a worried look on her face she said, "Honey, I don't know what to do.
Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get
through?"

With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are
married to Blondes exhibit, the husband replied, "Why don't you just
leave it in the garage this time?"
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Amanda
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PostSubject: Re: Those that have any humorous stories..   Tue Jan 23, 2007 9:14 am

A driver is pulled over by a policeman. The police man approaches the driver's door.

"Is there a problem Officer?"

The policeman says, "Sir, you were speeding. Can I see your licence please?"

The driver responds, "I'd give it to you but I don't have one."

"You don't have one?"

The man responds, "I lost it four times for drunk driving."

The policeman is shocked. "I see. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?"

"I'm sorry, I can't do that."

The policeman says, "Why not?"

"I stole this car."

The officer says, "Stole it?"

The man says, "Yes, and I killed the owner."

At this point the officer is getting worried. "You what!?"

"She's in the trunk if you want to see."

The Officer looks at the man and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes, five police cars show up, surrounding the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

The senior officer says "Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please!"

The man steps out of his vehicle. "Is there a problem sir?"

"One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner."

"Murdered the owner?"

The officer responds, "Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car please?"

The man opens the trunk, revealing nothing.

The officer says, "Is this your car sir?"

The man says "Yes," and hands over the registration papers.

The officer, understandably, is quite stunned. "One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving licence."

The man digs in his pocket revealing a wallet and hands it to the officer. The officer opens the wallet and examines the licence. He looks quite puzzled. "Thank you sir, one of my officers told me you didn't have a licence, stole this car, and murdered the owner."

The man replies, "I bet you the liar told you I was speeding, too!"

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Relyt
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PostSubject: Re: Those that have any humorous stories..   Tue Jan 30, 2007 7:55 pm

HUMOROUS STORIES GO HERE!!!!!! ANNA UR BLONDE STORIE WAS GREAT BUT IT NEEDED TO GO IN THE HUMOROUS STORIES SECTION!!!!
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Relyt
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PostSubject: Re: Those that have any humorous stories..   Mon Feb 12, 2007 12:58 pm

A brunette is trying to get across a river and
suddenly she spots a blonde on the other side. She
yells over to the blonde "Hey, excuse me! How do I get
over to the other side?" And after a quick survey of
the river, the blonde calls back "You ARE on the other
side!"
-------------------------------------------------------


A guy is speaking to his psychiatrist. "I'm on the
road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they
can never reach me."
Psychiatrist: "Don't you have a phone in your car?"

Guy: "That was a little too expensive, so I did the
next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car."

Psychiatrist: "Uh ... How's that working?"
Guy: "Actually, I haven't gotten any letters yet."

Psychiatrist: "And why do you think that is?"
Guy: "I figure it's because when I'm driving around,
my zip code keeps changing."
-----------------------------------------------------



A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell
me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to
New York City?" The agent replies, "Just a minute..."
"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
------------------------------------------------------




During a rock climbing expedition, an accident
occurred, as some of the grappling hooks gave way.
This left the eleven climbers clinging precariously to
the wildly swinging rope suspended from a crumbling
outcropping on the Mountain. Ten were blonde, one was
a brunette. As a group they decided that one of the
party should let go. If that didn't happen the weight
on the rope would cause more of the hooks to give way
and everyone would perish. For an agonizing few
moments no one volunteered. Finally the brunette gave
a truly touching speech saying she would sacrifice
herself to save the lives of the others. All ten
blondes applauded.
------------------------------------------------------



A lady walks into a doctor's office. She gets in the
room with the doctor and says, "Doc, I hurt all over."
The doctor is really confused. He says, "What do you
mean, you hurt all over?" The lady says, "I'll show
you."

She then touches herself on her leg. "OW!!! I hurt
there." Then she touches her earlobe. "OW!!!!!! I hurt
there too!" Then she touches her hair. "OW!!!!! EVEN
MY HAIR HURTS!" So the doctor sits back and thinks on
it for 5 min. The doctor says, "Well, you got a broken
finger..."
------------------------------------------------------



A blonde and brunette were watching the 6 o'clock
news. The news was about a man about ready to jump off
a bridge. The brunette turns to the blonde and says, "
I bet you $50 the man is going to jump." The blonde
replies, "Okay you're on." Sure enough, the man jumps,
and the blonde gives the brunette $50. The brunette
says, "I can't accept this money. I watched the 5
o'clock news and saw the man jump then." "No, you have
to take it," says the blonde. "I watched the 5 o'clock
news too, but I didn't think he would do it again."
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